ever since i was a teenager i've held a special attachment to the summer months. during high school it was a time when i got a glimpse of the future ahead of me, one where i was living my own life, able to do exactly what i wanted, when i wanted, and with whom. i would work all day at any number of crappy fast food jobs, or construction, or concrete. and i would hurry home exhausted, but not about to let the physical limitations of my body keep me from doing what i wanted. out with friends, or a girlfriend, seeing movies and eating out... finally living for a few hours before i had to sleep and start it all over again.
when college came, i think the summer held a level of importance because i was home, and back with the girl, or the band, or the friends that i missed so badly when i was up at school at michigan tech. i had such feelings of passion for the girl, who at the time was brooke. i lived and died by every moment i spent with her, and looking back at it, feel like i was truly living for every moment as they came. i think i've lost some of that as i march on to adulthood, with the responsibilities that follow.
so now, in my early adulthood, i retain the habit of sort of worshipping the summer months, even though there is no break from school. i work every weekday like i do in the winter, but still there is a romantic nature of the summer that hasn't worn away. there is always a feeling of loss and a sadness that follows me everywhere as the fall approaches, and i am forced to say goodbye to my friends of summer every year. this year, even now in early august, i can feel summer slipping away. brooke used to say that as soon as july 4th came and went, so went the summer. that the days leading up to the 4th seemed longer, or more permanent. after the fourth of july, it's all downhill, and the summer seems to speed away, rather than slip by. but today, i said goodbye to two dear friends of the summer of 2005: Kept, and Hell's Kitchen. both of these reality shows actually ended a week or two ago, but i am a TiVoite, and just got to the season finales this afternoon.
i like to think of myself as the sort of educated consumer, riding a level above that of the common citizen... that i wouldn't get sucked into the same things the masses do. a more distinguished palate, if you will. but both of these series really grabbed me, despite my initial wanting to hate them. Seth won Kept, and Michael Hell's Kitchen. Both my favorites on the series by far, although i was honestly and truly sad for Austin and Ralph, the two respective losers.
it's not that the storylines somehow spoke to me on a particularly personal level, or that i can say i really feel like i know either of the two winners, but i do find myself wanting to see their stories continue, and live on beyond this summer. i will miss having these two good friends waiting for me, whenever i can see them. i lived each day of this summer knowing they were there, patiently waiting to bring me happiness whenever i was able to visit them. i anticipated their new chapters, and found extreme comfort in their friendships throughout this trying summer. and i'm sad to see them go. but, i know, unlike my memories of brooke or eight hour cycle, or any of the other dear friends of summers past, in six months i won't really miss Seth, or Michael, or Chef Ramsey. They will fade as quickly as they arrived.
at least until season 2 begins...
