Hey, Le George! Bonjour, Le George! Let’s stuff Le George in Le Locker!

it's interesting to me, the little things you notice on a day to day basis. the things that occur to you when you're alone and there's no one around to say them to, so they tend to get forgotten.
tonight i was standing outside starbucks, and there's a point on the sidewalk near the back of the store where if you stop, and turn to your left, the letters on the belle tire sign just reads "le Tire." and i thought that was funny. like that's where you would take your le car to get a le flat fixed. and then i spent a few minutes thinking about whether a tire chain would be as successful as Belle Tire if it were truly named Le Tire. and this conversation in my head could have become a memory for me and someone else, if they had been there with me, and i said these things out loud. like when i said to michael at cedar point "i feel like a hot dog." and he said back to me "that's funny, you don't look like a hot dog." a memory, a funny story to get brought up over a beer sometime. i just wonder how many of these stupid little funny things occur to us everyday, and the only reason they don't become a funny little memory is because there's no one else there to share it with.
of course, there are also those thoughts that occur to us when we're in the wrong company- people who wouldn't get it, whatever it is. i've had a bunch of those, too. sometimes i've said something, other times i feel the little prick of embarassment remembering the times i did say something and the other person just blankly stares back, unsure of how to proceed.
so tonight, it's the collection of all the funny little observations and silly thoughts that we have that never make it out of the cold, damp cellar in our brains and become an actual memory that i honor.
May there always be a kind kindred soul with us all, to laugh at our nonsense.

bit by bit i will get through the whole album...

i am waiting for something to go wrong
i am waiting for familiar resolve
i am waiting for another repeat
another diet fed by crippling defeat
and i am waiting for that sense of relief
i am waiting for you to flee the scene
as if you held in your hand a smoking gun
and on the floor lay the one you said you love
and it's strange- they're all basically the same
so i don't ask names anymore.

i'm amazed at my generosity

it's amazing the power a michigan spring night
has on a young man
a person of any sex or age or religion

...

ps- iTunes is the devil, and portions of this entry belong to DCFC "a lack of color" from Transatlanticism: which is the best way I can think of you, or anyone else to spend $15.


[editors note: portions of this blog have been removed]

it is a depressant, after all

Tonight, tonight I say goodbye
To everyone who loves me
Stick it to my enemies, tonight
Then I disappear
Bathe my path in shining light
Set the dials to thrill me
Every secret has its price
This one's set to kill
Too loose, too tight, too dark, too bright
A lie, the truth, which one should I use?
If the lie succeeds
Then you'll know what I mean
When I tell you I have secrets
To attend
Do you think I'm beautiful?
Or do you think I'm evil?
Will you take me for a ride?
The one that never ends
Too loose, too tight, too dark, too bright
A lie, the truth, which one shall I use?
If the lie succeeds
Then you'll know what I mean
When I tell you I have secrets
To attend
Tonight, tonight I say goodbye
To everything that thrills me
As I throw the chainsI forged in life
To shatter on the floor
As I dream all the evidence
Is piling up against me
As I breathe all the essence rare
Is falling off the vine
And if you knew, just how smooth
I could stop it on the dime
You could meet me at the scene of the crime

2400

this is my house.
this is where I live.
this is where I feel safe.
and I am there now.
this is the physical embodiment of only part of all that I've accomplished. this is the frame that houses every artifact that -if you were to assemble and catalog them, would give you only a slight insight into who i really am, or really was. this smell is my smell. these looks after i walk in the door are my looks. that communication is my communication. these are my hardwood floors, and this is my 'yellow lettuce' green dining room that no one likes but me.

there is nothing here but who I am now. i have completed that transformation. i am me. i am whole for the first time in my life. and it is foreign, and it is strange, but it is real. and i couldn't be happier here.

golden slumbers

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No, no, no
I'm so tired, I don't know what to do
I'm so tired, my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you'd do
You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke
It's doing me harm, you know I can't sleep
I can't stop my brain, you know it's three weeks
I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
I'm so tired, I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired, I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid get
You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke
It's doing me harm, you know I can't sleep
I can't stop my brain, you know it's three weeks
I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
Lennon/McCartney