it really is upbeat...

I can still recall
The way you looked that fall
In your favorite dress
The day before you left
And since that time
I wrote a simple rhyme
And I miss you and the things you do
The time we had, the good and bad
The day we met that I can't forget
Signed Sincerely, Me

Are you cross at your loss?
But could you be more obsessive
If I'd given you the chance
But since you asked, a reply but it's the last
And I miss you and the things you do
The love you fake, the heart you break.
The buzz you caught, and the times we fought
Signed Sincerely, Me.

Oh, my God, and don't forget P.S.
I moved away to a new address
It's far away and I think it's best
Signed Sincerely, Me.

Why can't it be like it was?
The rain falls, the summer ends.
Why can't it be like it was?
You always said you'd never go away.

And I confess, I was such a mess
I drove for fifteen hours
On this nasty Greyhound bus
Yes, I've returned.
(You'd think that I would have learned.)
But I miss you and the things you do
The times we had, the good and bad
The day we met that I can't forget
Signed Sincerely, Me
Could you really be a bitch like that?
Broke my door when you stole the cat.
Someone said that you even laughed
Signed Sincerely, Me

Why can't it be like it was?
The rain falls, the summer ends.
Why can't it be like it was?
You always said you'd never go away.

And I miss you...The hope you give.
The life you live.The cross you bear.
The way you swear.
The face you make
When you masturbate.
Our bed in the moonlight.
And the night we fought
You were so distraught.
And the lies I denied
Even when you cried,
God knows I apologize,
Signed Sincerely, Me.

Why can't it be like it was?
The rain goes, the sun returns.
Why can't it be like it was?
You always said you'd never go away.
You'd never go away.
You'd never go away.

Signed Sincerely, Me.

limited liability corporation v.2

i didn't even think she was pretty

tomorrow i'll post the 2nd enstallment of "limited liability corporation" for you, when i can upload pictures again. right now those powers escape me. but i'll tell you the story now... so, a few days ago, the sink in the master bath off my bedroom (it's a half-bath with no door, before you get all impressed) started to come loose from the wall again, and rock a little when you would turn the water on or off, which made this incredibly annoying bumping sound against the wall. it's a pedestal sink, so there are two bolts which anchor the sink to the wall, and a vertical pedestal that really supports the weight of the sink.
this had happened before, and the woman in my life at the time gave me a bunch of shit about it, so i bought some new drywall anchors, and fixed it. well, over time, those anchors let go, and it started rocking again. so, i decide to fix it once and for all, so i buy some anchors that expand behind the wall, thus making it impossible for them to loosen up and allow the sink to rock. well, what should have been about an hour's worth of work turned into three days, 5 trips to the hardware store, and much cursing: cursing the drywall, cursing the cheap pieces of shit plastic anchors, cursing the previous homeowner for doing such a half-assed job...
and today the final straw was placed upon the camel's back. awkwardly poised under the sink, with a ratchet in one hand, a pair of pliers in the other (i had to hold the anchor with the pliers because the hole in the wall had gotten too big, and allowed the anchors to just spin as i tried to turn the screws), my head cocked underneath the sink trying to align the screw to the hole in the anchor. as i move the screw to the hole, i ended up pushing the anchor into the hole, and it falls down behind the wall.

so, i do what any self-respecting do-it-yourselfer does when pissed on by an inanimate plastic piece of shit for the third day in a row: i punch 6 holes in the wall, and throw a wrench through just for good measure. "well, i have to patch it now, don't i?" was all i could say.

so, $80 later, i know how to patch and finish drywall. so, it's all good.

without me

i am incredibly saddened when i find books that have been given to me that i haven't bothered to read. somehow, reading seems like the duty i have that i constantly neglect. it's the soul-healing activity that i consistently ignore. that's the feeling i get when i find a book on my desk that was given to me in 2004. 2005. 2006. a cheerful well-wish and love expressed in a hand-written note on the inside cover. happy birthday, scott. love with all my heart... and i let it just sit there. and it's not the lover gone from my life that bums me out... it's that someone went to the trouble to pick out that volume for me, and i leave it's pages unturned, it's spine uncreased. i'm sorry.

30 seconds to write

i'm a slave to iTunes....
(i have to finish by the time the track ends)
it was nearly exactly a year ago that i bought the cd that carries this tune.

driving in the mountains, i felt like i saw the thing i was supposed to be. and it wasn't exact, to the finest detail... but i felt complete in these adjectives: poor, young, in a small cheap car, driving throught the mountains, listening to this music.

and nonetheless, here i am, sitting here waiting for someone to come to my door. Halloween is over, i don't know what i expect.