pretty things

the other day i auditioned for a paying role in a play that has never been performed or staged before. the part i auditioned for is a young man who is trying to be a stand-up comedian. so, after the director and PLAYWRITE had me do my prepared monologue, they had me do a short monologue from the show. it was a little piece where the character is doing his stand up, and he's really bad. but, that's the point. so, i did that, and i'm used to making an ass of myself on stage, so i didn't think it went too badly.

however.

after that, the director says "ok scott, very nice. what we'd like to do now is to have you improvise a little stand up of your own. go back to your childhood, and don't worry about being funny necessarily."

[heart stops. mind ferociously racing through the 31 years of my life, searching for any joke - knock, knock or otherwise- to do here. nothing. nothing but the most vulgar, racist, explicit jokes are coming to mind. things i would not be comfortable saying in mixed company who i barely know and who, coincidentally, are also the head of the acting MFA program at wayne state.]

so, i luckily landed on a Rolls Canardly joke my father used to tell when i was little. it's basically a 2 line joke, so i fleshed it out into a story. i don't think it went too badly, but who knows. but as i was walking out of that audition, i made a vow to myself that i would memorize more jokes. i would have more anecdotal stories to tell at parties. i would rehearse and polish my joke telling and story telling abilities. not just for the rare chance that i need standup material again, but just to have a couple to use in appropriate situations. parties. elevators. speeches.

this is the kinda crap that necessitates me being independently wealthy. that, or a kept man. because i want to spend my days increasing my vocabulary. i want to spend my days polishing my story telling ability. i want to spend my days organizing and re-organizing everything in my house. figuring out how to suspend and power theatrical lighting in my house... and then designing different scenes for my living room. really digging into new authors, artists, and musicians. i think it's a shame that i only have enough time to listen to 2 or 3 rufus wainwright songs at a time, because i only really listen in my car. i think it's a shame that i heard two great songs this morning on my way into work on XMU (channel 43) that i'm afraid i'll never really get to dig into and let affect me. the new pornographers and bloc party. i've decided that it's not that i don't like indie music, it's just certain types of indie that i don't like. which shouldn't be a surprise to me. everyone is that way about everything all the time. whatever. i know it's confusing to read, because it's confusing in my head, and THAT'S WHY I NEED to spend the time to figure it all out!!!! the time, money, and resources to really explore whatever suits my fancy that day.

coffee is a dangerous and malicious drug... that i love.

what's with the long face?